Windows server 2003 problem connection to remote sql server

I have this connection string:

Driver={SQL Server}; Server=XX.XXX.XX.XXX; Database={databasename}; Uid={username}; Pwd={password};

I have even tried

Driver={SQL Server}; Server=XX.XXX.XX.XXX; Database={databasename}; Data Provider = SQLOLEDB; NETWORK LIBRARY = DBMSSO开发者_运维知识库CN; Uid={username}; Pwd={password};

but i get

Microsoft OLE DB Provider for ODBC Drivers error '80004005'

[Microsoft][ODBC SQL Server Driver][DBNETLIB]SQL Server does not exist or access denied.

what is the solution? i read on msdn and microsoft and accross the web but couldn't fix it. i don't have access to the sql server, it belong to another company that give me the mailing list service.

from my home computer (windows 7) i can connect with anything i try but from the server it is not working